What Happens When There’s Nothing?

It’s incredibly difficult to write about something that never happened. This is one of those entries. Since the start of Percept, I made one base goal: write an entry once a week and publish on Sundays. As I’ve mentioned before, the entries are meant to capture interesting experiences during altered states of consciousness. When I dove head-first into this project, I never once pondered, “What if nothing happens? What if you skip all meditations? What if…” I made it a point not to enter this work with that thought in mind. It’s proven time and time again to be a massive creativity killer and morale tanking mechanism. Well, here I am. I meditated, I paid attention, and yet there’s nothing to write about.

Really, I Got Nothing

I’m afraid there isn’t going to be anything weird to muse over in this entry. I’ve had a few situations come up, but they were either cut short or took so long to materialize that I lost my grip on them. All week long I’ve been knocking on the door of projection. I’ve gotten right up to it, opened it even, taken a step inside, and then it falls through. None of my experiences were completely “useless.” None of our experiences should ever be considered as such. Still, there was just nothing solid to anchor to and write about. So you can imagine what this conundrum feels like now as I type this out, which is, in fact, about less than small incidents and mostly… nothing.

Less on Process, More on State of Mind

Much like this entry, my sessions this week were far less about process and more about what I want to achieve. By writing this entry, I’m accomplishing my weekly mission of publishing one on Sunday. In my practice, I’ve been focusing more on developing my intent than refining the practice itself. While I don’t have anything concrete to show for it this week, I can tell, feel, and know that this has been the right change of pace and mentality.

I trust my subconscious. I trust myself. For anyone who has really dove deep into astral projection, you know there isn’t a single process that works for everyone. In fact, there are countless ways and protocols to engage in. The problem is that most of these are discovered by people who had to create their own methods out of necessity because nothing else worked. So here we are, trying this way and that. This one used to work but now doesn’t (wait, what?). This one works for everyone who’s tried it (doubt it). And this one was passed down by a friend who learned it from his cousin who spent a year homeless with a Tibetan monk in Liberia. I’d actually try that last one if there was a real protocol born from such an adventure. Then again, I’ll look at just about anything as long as it doesn’t infringe on anyone’s free will.

Something Is Happening

While I truly don’t have a single session to write home about, I did have a moment during every AP attempt this week that came late in the session and felt hopeful in retrospect. You have to remember, I’m doing this to achieve conscious out-of-body experience, not spontaneous, unplanned ones like I’ve had before and like most people experience. In all honesty, we all AP every day. We just don’t remember. It’s called sleeping. That’s why I’ve etched NOW I AM HAVING A CONSCIOUS OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE into my subconscious, as made popular by William Buhlman.

On one of my attempts this week, I felt a new sensation. Toward the end of the meditation, I suddenly felt myself lurch forward and down, like someone was yanking on my feet while I lay flat on my back. That was neat. I’ve heard of this happening to others over the years. I want to proclaim that it was my guide or some friendly entity helping me after I asked, but for the life of me, I don’t remember if I actually called on anyone for assistance. The funny part is that I have in the past and still do during some sessions, but I haven’t been keeping track. Maybe I should start noting that.

Aside from that wild and very brief occurrence, I’ve had the whole gamut of sensations I’ve already written about: floating up, floating in general, riding the razor’s edge between sleep and consciousness, pressure between my brows (third eye), falling sensations, feeding my astral/energy self (this one cracks me up every time), and more.

Calling the Guides

Since I haven’t done any Gateway Tapes in over a month and have been free-soloing it, I think it’s time to return to class. Time to get back into some tapes that specifically focus on guidance and intuition. I’ve got all the tools I need. In fact, I’m choosing to listen to one of those tools right now by making this decision, my intuition. The hard part is knowing the right question to ask. Or maybe it doesn’t matter.